Like one of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s alleged ‘cold sores’… they’re baacck! Dancing with the Stars premiered Monday giving hope to C-list celebs everywhere that as they fall deeper and deeper into post-stardom oblivion they, too, will find a home on ABC.
By now you know the DWTS’s all-star, D-list cast, so I needn’t do a role call here. But you know what I would like to do? An age call. Just how old is David Hasselhoff anyway? He’s been around longer than Brandy and that kid from the Disney show put together.
He’s 58, actually. But his hair plugs are still in their teens.
And what about Florence Henderson. How old is she? At 76, she’s a total BILF (Brady I’d Like To Fling-Around-The-Dance-Floor). Frankly, she still looks amazing and truly is “America’s Favorite Mom.” Take note, Audrina Patridge and Bristol Palin – you better do more than reality TV if you want to be relevant in 50 years. (Just don’t run for President, please.)
Teams danced the Cha Cha and Viennese Waltz, scoring a vast chasm of various points. From a mediocre 15 out of 30 for The Situation to a whopping 24 out of of 30 for — who else but — Jennifer “Baby” Grey from Dirty Dancing. She (and her nose) are all grown up now, and really stole the show… and also reminded us of how much we all really still miss Patrick Swayze.
Jennifer Grey danced with last season’s reigning champ Derek Hough. The couple did the Viennese Waltz to a song from ‘Dirty Dancing.’ Bruno declared, “Baby is back where she belongs. Someone up there is going to be very proud of you. It was beautifully danced.” Carrie Ann stated, “This is why I love what I do. Something profound happened. There was such a connection between what is beyond and what is here. Some things get better with age. You are one of them.” Len said, “This was a dance that really suited you. I thought it was great, but I am waiting next week to see how you can do a jive.” Jennifer and Derek took first place with 24 points (via ETonline.com).
Tomorrow brings us Part 2 and with it, our first elimination. From the looks of it, The Situation might be the one heading back to Jersey, where he can get right back to work on his GTL-ness. Thank God.
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