Apple To Prohibit Sexting On iPhones. In Other News, Tiger Woods, Brett Favre Switch To Droids.

October 13, 2010 |  by  |  Breaking News
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

Wow, I never knew sexting was such a national crisis. Sure, Tiger Woods, Brett Favre and nearly every under parented kid in America have gotten in some hot water over naughty texts, but is that a reason to spoil the party for everyone else on earth that might want to express some sexy time wishes via text?


Apparently Apple is stepping in where parents have failed and just got a patent approved for an anti-sexting device that will prevent young (and old) horngdogs from sharing their innermost dirty thoughts.

Personally, I feel this is a total infringement up on free speech. It’s not like I’m an avid sexter myself. But if I chose to be, I’d want the freedom to do as I pleased.

Here’s a thought that would solve this problem immediately: PARENTS – STOP GIVING YOUR KIDS FANCY CELLPHONES!

When I was a kid we had one phone, on a wall. That was it. I got along just fine.

The patent, which was filed in 2008, was just approved for “systems, devices, and methods” of filtering “text-based messages” based on “objectionable content.”  What if your first name is Dick? Or you need to text your dentist about excessive tongue thrusting? What will happen to these unfortunate souls?

The patent itself reads:

In one embodiment, the control application includes a parental control application. The parental control application evaluates whether or not the communication contains approved text based on, for example, objective ratings criteria or a user’s age or grade level, and, if unauthorized, prevents such text from being included in the text-based communication (via Techcrunch).

If the control contains unauthorized text, the control application may alert the user, the administrator or other designated individuals of the presence of such text. The control application may require the user to replace the unauthorized text or may automatically delete the text or the entire communication.

The only upshot to this patent is that teens (and Tiger Woods and Brett Favre) who cannot stop sexting, will have to get more creative and possibly be forced to learn French in order to express their X-rated thoughts. I’m sure this will also create an entirely new language that will baffle and frustrate parents even more than they already are.

Good job, Steve Jobs!


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  1. Yeahhhh, this is stupid. It’s one thing to get a patent for such a thing, it’s another thing to put it into use. I have a feeling Apple won’t go THAT far with it, being that they have a patent for just about everything else under the sun that is smartphone related and haven’t used them all. Besides, as you said, if I want to get all sextabulous, I’m gonna find a way.

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