15 Crazy Charlie Sheen quotes

March 1, 2011 |  by  |  Entertainment
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

The Charlie Sheen train wreck continues to pile up.

First he went on a radio show ranting about Two and a Half Men, the CBS show that pays him a cool $2 million per episode to star in. Then, the show got cancelled because of those remarks. Then Sheen went on Good Morning America to rebut — and well…that’s where these awesome Chalrie Sheen quotes come in.

Keep reading for more Charlie Sheen quotes!

Thanks to Socialite.com, here’s the Top 15 nuttiest Charlie Sheen quotes of late. I wonder when someone is going to make a Christian Bale-style Youtube video about these?

15. On why middle America sucks: “I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get slaughtered. That’s where you get embarrassed. From the prom queen.”

14. On not being bipolar or mentally disturbed: “Wow, and then what? What’s the cure? Medicine. Make me like them, not gonna happen. I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there; now what?”

13. “I don’t believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.”

12. On the last time he did drugs: “I probably took more than anybody could survive…I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear.”

11. “I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitching, a total fricking rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out; they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain.”

10. “I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”

9. “Because I’m me. I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. Dying’s for fools, dying’s for amateurs.”

8. “I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. It’s over. There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”

7. On “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre: “I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows… I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

6. “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

5. “(CBS) picked a fight with a warlock.”

4. “The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math … another one of their mottoes is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bullsh*t! I cured it with my brain, with my mind.”

3. “[A.A.] was written for normal people, people that aren’t special. People that don’t have tiger blood, you know, Adonis DNA.”

2. “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p***y.”

1. “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

Wow. Just, wow.


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